someone hired me today. people are hired and fired every day, but for me this was a momentous occasion. i’ve been volunteering at a non-profit for a few weeks and they asked me to send in my resume. after today’s interview i was hired on the spot. mind you, it will be roughly be a 10 hour work week (apart from the other non-profit i work for), but it is notable because for the first time in over ten years, a company/organization will pay me.
i’ve been part of the non-profit world since graduating college. i’m not talking about the million dollar grant non-profit world; i’m talking about the “send out a newsletter, write emails, speak at churches and schools and hope above all else that someone wants to give me something. i’m not picky, non-profit world.” in the “raise your own salary non-profit world” i will always have a job. i am, essentially, free help. there are perks – there is more flexibility and freedom when that is the case. but there has always been this nagging question of “am i valuable because i am free labor or because i bring something meaningful to the table?” today i was chosen.
i felt pretty proud of myself for several hours. i was chosen – someone wanted to pay me to work for them because – miracle upon miracles – they saw something they liked. after i left the office, life got busy and i had things to do and much to think about. this evening my mind slowed a bit and i realized that there are very few times in life when we have the pleasure of be chosen exclusively. it’s a beautiful thing to be chosen. but in being chosen today, the bitter times of being overlooked or ignored hit hard. i don’t tend to dwell on those times, but i realized today that i too often live life un-chosen. as i sat in a hard metal chair at an ash wednesday service tonight, i heard a kind voice asking “when will it be enough that I have chosen you?” jobs, careers, people, opportunities will come and go. i will be disappointed and i am sure to disappoint. but the One who knows my innermost thoughts continues to choose me in spite of it all. and in the end, it is enough be to chosen by Him.